Tears of the Lost
I always thought I’d die at the hands of Wolf or Crow someday when I traveled back to Narginath and tried to wrestle more power from them. Instead, I’m floating in an abyss. I’d say falling, but it really doesn’t feel that way anymore. I do have a nice view though; Yasmins face is pleasing enough to look at. Maybe I’ll draw some Trumps as well.
Wolf had more help than I thought she would. Also, my uncles all did poorly. Apparently, they’re good dealing with things alone, but put them together their combined skill amounts to a handful of shadow folk. Give Zule the same power we Amberites have and he would of easily out shined all of them put together. Should I of told them what to do in the fight? I just assumed they had some idea how to handle themselves in battle. But no; not one of them went to try and grapple with the Wolf. Instead, they traded blows with swords and claws. Idiots. We were there for Torment not to inflict damage.
There’s no figuring for fools. Furthermore, Delwin gave me only some of what I asked for. It wasn’t anything that would be permanent like he implied. One day only would it lock down the shadow, which is not enough time, ala eternity; which is what I needed. My fault, again, for dealing with people older than me. They’d as soon cut off their leg than live up to what they bargained for. I guess I got Dalt out of the deal, but he was as useless as the rest.
I pity them now, of course. Wolf will rend all of shadow and Crow will follow in her wake harvesting souls as they did in Narginath. Me, I get to keep my soul and let it go into eternity. Where’s it going? Hopefully, to a place with lots of beautiful women. Dancing women, lots of gowns. Pretty nights. All that. It’ll be nice once I manage to expire. I suppose I could try Trumping myself out or summon something to me, but what’s the point? I’d just end up with my soul eaten by Crow. My only wish is that all those younger than me perish soon, so they don’t suffer the fate of nothingness Crow will bring them.
I wonder who my mother really is? I wonder where Wolf picked up such powerful followers? I wonder how my uncles have lived with their ineptitude for so long.
The chaos storm changed all of my beloved shadows and the folk therein, leaving me with nothing but Tint. He soon followed in their wake. It’s a pity. It left me hollow inside. Even had I got the gem from Wolf they’d all still be gone, so I’m not sure if it would of changed my spirits. I at least managed to work up some rage at Cain, even if it was hard. Not that it mattered much. Had I won the fight, I would of simply disappeared into shadow. Then again, who knows…perhaps Crow is able to fly into an abyss like this and come back out with my soul? Who do you pray to when the gods you pretended to worship want to kill you? I miss the days of being free of such thoughts.
Pray to myself, I suppose. Oh, Zythanimaerias! Let not the Crow find my soul and devour it, but let me drift here in the void and perish after a time. Very well, done! Ha ha ha ha…
Farewell shadow, I’m sorry I couldn’t save you from eternal darkness and death as I wished.
Yes! Here we are in a shadow I came across while seeking godkillers. Or, something close to it. All the shadows I have known and loved have been altered because of the storm from chaos. Still don’t know what caused it, but the chaos folk could be polite enough to keep control of there things so they don’t disrupt the universe. Then again, could just be another sign of the end times.
I cannot believe how many of my relatives have come. After the first few, a domino effect began to occur. It’s true what they say that a common foe can unite people. It’s good to have the pattern blades with us, for I fear a few of us will not be much use against her. Wolf. Mother? Either her or Crow…
The plan is solid and with so many of us here success is as close as it can be. How many of us are about to die, though? I hope no one, of course. Sure, I hate Cain, but I don’t want the man dead. If I had to pick one out of all of us, let it be me. My passing won’t hurt anyone to deeply, and they can likely find a new safe deposit box to store Torment in…
I’ve been clouding my mind with the plan to keep it off of Tints passing. Where did he go? Returned to Crow now that he’s dead? He did come from Narginath. The thought of him dead fills my soul with cold and my heart with ice. Even serving Wolf, he was… I don’t know what my life will be like without him now, but I don’t forsee any good moods hitting me soon. Empty? My life is already and always has been such. Not sure if my father was feeding me bull about Crow being able to bring Tint back to life, but it would make some odd sense. I’ll pursue this, and see where it leads. I could use him back…must stop dwelling on him. Must think about Wolf.
I let out Wolf. I wonder who let out Griffen and Spider? Will Crow escape? Or are all three still trapped somewhere? In the shards of the Abyss? Enough. Deal with Wolf, the others will follow afterwards.
All these Amberites in one place…it is a sight to see, and I will paint it properly should I live. WATCH CLOSELY NOW ALL OF SHADOW! For you are about to see how to fell a god!
My dearest friend Medi. I say friend, though referring to a world as such is even a bit strange for me. Still, it’s one of the safest and more pleasant shadows one can go to for recovery. Mab wasn’t much of a talker, likely. Being able to only caw infringed upon her conversation skills. Still! Someone to pass the time with until we went to Amber and I saw her off on the Pattern. Still not sure of her age and wether I consider her a relative in that regard.
Convinced Delwin to help me deal with Wolf and the whole torment jeel thing. Planning to lure and trap her in a shadow. And get the jewel off her neck. If she ca still move through shadow without it, we’ll have to toss her into the Abyss. I’ve made a Trump just above the gaping hole. If all else fails I can try to have her follow me through that Trump and we can both tumble down into the depths together. A bit fitting if a tad dark.
Definitly going to need Ezekiel to help snatch the jewel from her, and any of my other relatives that will come help. Going to be quite a difficult fight for me. Not sure I can call it a fight. Hmmm…
I will enjoy ambushing my father. I have numerous questions and irritations to put to him. I wonder, will he see it coming? Maybe. If he does, well, sorry Delwin I tried. After Wolf we need to deal with Griffon and Spider. I wonder of they are both female as well?
Session 12 -
All right…so far the cathedral has given me a woman named Mab who ruined a long running idea of mine (50 years in fact). Oh, and numerous cuts, bruises, and other various wounds. But, we’ve got a lot of information from it, and hopefully a bit more in the future to come. Maybe I should ask for a net or something to capture Wolf with, but I don’t think I can throw it at her…hm.
Myrrdin got a weapon, so that’s well and good. I think Yasmin is holding out for something, though I am not sure what. Nalath seems to have a glint in his eye saying that he doesn’t need anything and can make due, which is what I had assumed would be the case.
Six maids out in shadow now rendered useless. Not sure what to do with them… I had hoped one day…no, now they’ll be to old, even with the time differences. Should I take them to Narginath? Not the best place, but they’ll probably be happy there. Hm…maybe a few shadows over instead. Yes…
Now, what to do with Mab. Pretty. Now at least. Stopped cawing too, a bonus; though I can’t say it bothered me that much. Not sure if she’s going to like me, most women don’t. Quite all right, I’ve never liked the immortals anyway. Shadow women are much more pliable. We’ll see what this one does with herself. Stays in Amber?
What do I need to stop Wolf? Griffon? Spider? The Others? How does one battle an enemy they cannot engage in combat with? It’s difficult. So far, for the past millenia or so, I’ve managed to make it not a problem. I was hoping my comrades would be more…what’s the proper word…eager! Eager to stop the gods from killing and destroying everything they know and love! Perhaps, though…I’m the only one who cares about shadow and such things? Possible. Possible. The lure of godkillers seemed tantilizing to me. Alas, no one else wanted them? Couldn’t tell. What we went in there for.
Maybe. Maybe they are waiting for Wolf to actually begin her destruction. Maybe they are waiting for Wolf to start her Hunt. Will a blood curse even settle upon the shoulders of a god? Doubtful. Doubtful. Stop worrying about what the others are doing Zythanimaerias. Focus on yourself…
Myself. The key is to get Wolfs necklace back in my possession or inside of me. Then, we kick Wolf into the Abyss (or maybe Zeke does with his boots). Well, I’ve got the end result, it’s getting there that’s the trouble. Maybe the current King can give me more information, but we’ll see. Yasmin wants to gain the aid of the knights of the unicorn and the serpent priests. …I’m still hate bias towards both of them though.
My dad pisses me off.
Session 11 -
Caine’s wedding was as boring as all the others I’ve attended. In the end we got Caine out; not something I wanted. Ah well, forget Deirdre. She is old enough to take care of herself.
Leaving my few cousins and the ever strange çhaosites, I decided to go into shadow after stopping by Grik Grak. One of the few places I call home. Now I wander through shadow, seeking weapons for me and my kin to do battle against the gods that have come from the depths of eternity.
I’ve stumbled across many items, most losing their power once I leave the shadow they exist in. A few work in similar shadows, but short of setting traps in shadow they are useless.
The Gauntlets of Gribbold were powerful. I was able to lift castle walls and bteak boulders with a punch. I will remember that shadow and have made a Trump of it; as I’ve done with most of the more spectacular weapons.
Then there was Murder Sword. The blade talked in my mind and to those around me. It was hungry for death and quite capable of dealing it. However, I felt it dominating my thoughts and so left it in a deep pit full of dead men.
I found others of course, a tree that let me share its power over the earth, a bird that turned into a dragon when in contact with sulfer. None of which would help me achieve my goals. The people however, the others that sought the power to slay things immortal; these I took with me.
Great men all, and so we journeyed on. Yet, I know I am following in anothers footsteps. The long trail of leads and missteps going hand and hand brought me rumors of the Cathedral and a legend of some undieing creature. This I believe is what I am seeking.
Now, I have found the black plain and the Cathedral is within sight. I shall Trump my young cousins and one or two other allies, and we shall take the treasures within and use them to stop those that I once pretended to worship, but have always respected: Wolf and Crow.
Session 10 -
I thought Ezekiel was dead. It wasn’t all my fault of course. I didn’t place him in chains to be left for a quick throat slitting or somesuch; that was Nalath. Still, I was with him at the time. Death by explosive magic orbs or hungry wolves, I wasn’t sure. Yet, I knew one thing, I was filled with the desire to hunt. One of the aspects of the wolf…. so I did.
The guard had lied, but I’d taken his life so it was a fair trade. I came upon some cultists who had odd powers giving one man great power. Magic or some blood rites. Served something named Nevermore. Another god like Wolf and Crow I think. More trouble… Well, can’t say I didn’t warn everyone about these things at least!
Then came across Corwin and a beautiful women with lovely eyes. I won’t forget them. Seems a multitude of old gods are coming out now according to them. Also, Corwin could not speak what he wished to say. Under verbal surveilance I suspect. Didn’t think of using some of the sign languages I know with him. But, somehow the others managed to free his son, so I suspect he’ll be back with us soon.
Ezekiel is alive of course. Settles my soul a bit. Now, do we take Corwin and Merlin and go to rescue Deirdre? Or are we going to be to busy dealing with these new gods?
How does one kill a god? By gaining their power… I wonder how I and my younger relatives will prepare for this… at least it’s interesting times. I shall have to visit my garden.
Session 9 -
Paid up in full. That’s better. Feel better! Except for the missing eye and dear Brand ordering me around. Been awhile since that’s happened, but to be expected. I think my dad made me to be a box of some sort, which is a bit disturbing. Would explain the whole odd relationship we have each other of course…
Still wondering if Crow and Wolf are going to escape. The thought of Crow coming to devour my soul is disturbing. Still get the urge to preach about them now and then. Probably a mistake.
I miss Grix and Tint. Wounded in the medical lab was more boring than it has ever been. I made some very odd sculptures…I should probably destroy them next I’m in.
Have to go pretend to get the Eye of Torment that got ripped out of me back from Wolf. That won’t go well. Brand seems to of dragged a lot of us in on the quest, though he isn’t going to remain present for it. First order of business is to go rescue Merlin…off we go.
Session 8 – A Grave Sin
I have done something I have not done for over a thousand years or more. What do I blame it on? A moment of insanity? Forgetfulness? Confusion? None of these are anything close to a proper excuse for what I have done. There is but one thing I can do to correct it, and that is, of course, to apologize to the lady. Unfortunately, it’ll probably be the last apology I ever make, then again…
She needs the death of innocents to come about fully, so simply Trumping her shouldn’t bring her into a corporeal existence. Unless she can kill people before she comes through the connection. Well, I don’t have a choice in the matter, since I’ve broken one my solemn vows. It’s not like I have more than a handful, but they’re all important and I don’t break them. Sorry about that Wolf, I’ll touch base with you soon.
Of course, if she asks for recompense, what should I say? Took my eye, payment enough? Help her get out? Well, I’d prefer not to die in most scenarios… I’m worried about Tint and Grix, but they’re probably better off doing whatever it is they’re doing. Being worshiped and whatnot.
Mmmmm. Brand got the jewel. Need to talk to dad before talking to Wolf to make sure he knows to watch the Primal. My old teacher out and about again, likely as moody as ever. Maybe his moods changed over the decade he’s been out of it. He helped my father survive that clockwork ambush…motive behind it though? Not sure…oh well!
I hope one of my shadows can get this eye back in my skull properly. After all the bleeding and finishing my walk on the Pattern, they were starting to work much better than in the past. Martin lost sight in his eye I think. Shouldn’t of dragged him into the fight, but I was hoping she wouldn’t follow me quite so quickly. End of the world, rules start to change.
Trump father, then Trump Wolf. Let’s see where everything takes us…
Session 6 – Things Left Unsaid
Lot of trouble. Lot of trouble. In fact, more trouble than when I was stuck in Narginath and didn’t know I was an Amberite. Wolf and Crow have begun their end of the world thing. Looking for the jewel, rather bad. I might of freed them somehow, but I prefer to lay the blame on Delwin; that way I’m not responsible.
Dad’s good. Helped me out, gave some advice. Walked the pattern. Not sure if it got this doom stuff off of me or the curse, but here’s hoping. After I finish writing this I’m going to try thinking of the night I don’t remember, see if I can recall what the argument between Brand and I was. Still, couldn’t of been that bad since he left me some Trumps. It’s always great when he’s in a good mood.
No idea how to stop Wolf and Crow. Right now, everyone’s hoping their stuck in the Abyss Fragments. Not a bad assumption…then again, what if they find a Trump card? Could they just Trump out? Wolf kills you, Crow takes your soul. Everyone’s blaming me, but I think I’ve managed to shift a good portion onto the gods themselves. It’s possible I may just end up doomed again however. It did just fall upon me. Well, nothing I can do about it, except stop them…or lock them back up… I better ask dad what he knows about the prison in Narginath.
Owe some people favors…not sure how to repay them. Been trying to stay in a good mood to keep people enjoying my company. Not sure it’s working. Never been a crowd pleaser.
I need to get my Trumps back from dad too…I’d better Trump him after my trip down memory lane.
Session 5 – Ahg
Wolf and Crow. Crow and Wolf. Perplexing. So perplexing now. I have preached their coming and their worship for more than a century now. Why? Well, I did it for fun at first, then later found it quite enjoyable. I even began to agree with some of what I said. The aspects of Wolf and Crow, how they apply to ones life. Them coming across shadow to doom existence and all that…well, I knew they were gods in Narginath, and the legends say they are not from that world.
I didn’t think they’d actually…leave. Jokes and nonsense! Somewhat. I like making people believe things if I can, but this is the first time something so major has come true. I’ve been targeted by Crow, who, if I remember the actual sermons from the priestans back in Narginath, will come to take my soul. Though, Wolf might kill me first to free my soul… It was far easier when I said whatever came to mind, filling in gaps that I didn’t remember.
Well, doom then. Myrrdin is doomed as well. My blood spreads the doom onto others in some fashion. Grix is acting strangely, some power seems to of entered him…I wanted to leave him behind, but decided that Crow would find me with or without Grix at my side.
What now? Good question. I have spoken to Ezekiel Darkstreet, and he seems willing to fight should Crow come. But, Crow and Wolf are giant gods… Sure, I passed their trials and took some of their power, but behind their anger at me I sensed amusement. Can Crow see through my eyes? Wolf smell through my nose? I haven’t dealt with anything in a serious manner for centuries… A lack of companions might be detrimental should Crow or Wolf come upon me.
I’d Trump to Narginath and check on them, but they might be just waiting for my return as well. Sending harbingers out into shadow after me. Did I offend them in some way? Or is this a slow returning of retribution against my presence in Narginath? I have no idea.
Also, I think Brand abducted me in the night, then erased my memories. My face still hurts.
Session 4 – About time
Finally, out in shadow. Or out in Abyss. Or out in fragment. Doesn’t matter, as long as we’re not in Amber, or the copy fragment or whatever. Way too much of the family around; though I am pleased that there’s no clear king. Not that Delwin will do any better, but change in the throne is always good. Well, no throne is best of course.
Anyway, seems we’re cursed or something. Blood cursed maybe. Delwin perhaps? Who knows, don’t care yet. If anything, it was a blessing, cause it’s allowed me to leave Amber (well, I was happily resting in my bed, until I tried to help by sending my Father in, just I went instead…)
Bunch of strange shadow folk, and a war mirroring Amber and Chaos. Cept Chaos won over here. Nothing I haven’t encountered before. No patron diety for them, should be easy to get some churches going. I’ll make a Trump if I can and once I get out send some eager missionaries from Narginath to start things moving.
Other than that, well…Fi has the crown and Martin has the jewel. Let’s hope they’re not stupid enough to leave either lying around again in this kind of a situation.
Session 3 – Ho hum.
I have not been this bored with Ambers state of events since the last time Chaos invaded and Corwin came with his guns. Random, showing his usual incompetence, lost Amber to chaos, and four different parties…oh, honestly, I don’t even care.
What I do care about is this, my family members are the most boring people I have ever met. They have no sense of spontaneousness or adventure. If I had my Trumps, I’d leave right now. Didn’t want to come here in the first place. Amber is full of politics, maneuvering, and all of our relatives fighting one another. One tries to clean it up, and incompetence sticks on your mop…like a piece of fluff in your hair you can’t seem to get out.
My only consolation is my father was left behind in Medinth, which is unfortunate that he knows about it because now I have to find a new place. However, he’s far more lucky than I am since at least he can sit in a bed and entertain himself, while I am stuck here with murderous madmen, women who don’t understand things, and a large load of idiots.
Bored out of my mind, I tell you. I think once I’m free of these chains I’ll go set fire to the church of the unicorn. No one will notice anyway, and if they do, what of it? Kill me? Well, going to Crow isn’t so bad. At least it wouldn’t be as boring as it is here.
Session 2 – And a one and a two…
Finally! Some true fun. Of course, I got a few wounds and all and my painting isn’t going to be so good for a few days, but foot painting is always something I can improve on.
Got those Chaosites some favor with Amber and the pompous man who calls himself a king. Saved my father from possible death…weird seeing him again. We don’t ever really talk. Never have. I wonder what he’s thinking about me most of the time. I suppose if I gave some effort to speaking with him something might happen, but goodness, that sounds like a dull time.
No, no, much better to keep living life by the moment! HOWEVER! I have simply not had enough time to brood the last day and a half, and I am well overdue. I think it’s time to head up to Kolvir with Tint and Grix and have a good proper stare down towards Amber. If only I had the Jewel I could make it rain…
Was good to see Corwin again, even if he is playing with Chaos or some such. Still not sure what that black pool was or how it works…really wanted to get a look at whoever was chanting that gibberish down the steps, but sometimes it’s better to leave and live then satisfy the wolfs curiosity.
Have some chaos man after my life, that’ll be fun! Dodging shadows and dealing with assassin’s. Should keep me occupied for a good while! I was growing bored around here, and someone coming to kill me in the night every few weeks or days will pass the time nicely.
Not much else to say, other than I hope Brand is alive, even if he lost it in the end. Maybe he’s regained some of his senses, or maybe it’s a shadow of him that never completely lost them in the first place! Seems to be a in a playful mood for now though, no telling when it will change. Well, off to brood with me.
Session 1 – Entertainment
Ah, what a fun time in Amber. Enjoyable. Horrendously so. I simply love when all of the beautiful women get dressed up. Is there a better sight in all of shadow? Well…of course there is.
Drawing Yazmine was a delight. Truly, I just finished doing it now and am scribbling this on another page while I talk to her. Thankfully, she’s good at standing more or less still. Be a shame if she caught me writing while we talked. Not sure what she would do. Caine’s daughter and all…I mean, Caine is a murderer.
Good work though, if I must compliment myself. Her Trump is another work of beauty. This time, likely more due to the subject rather than the artist.
Various theories on Ezekiel. A Trump to the great hall from dead Brand’s hand could mean…well. One, Brand gave it to Ezekiel before he went off and died in Chaos, and the shadow time in Ezekiel’s home is slow. Thus, once it was dropped off and he left, the night of sleep Ezekiel had was however long it’s been here in Amber. Fascinating. Which would mean he’s the son of Brand.
Another we’ve come up with; someone ransacked Brand’s room and took a Trump of his, and knew of Ezekiel, and planted the Trump there knowing Ezekiel would arrive in Amber to claim his birthright. Perhaps…not wanting to be accused of being in league with Brand in some way? Yes…maybe. Or, Brand gave someone else a Trump and they gave it to their son, but didn’t want Ezekiel to know who they were, so they didn’t have to have responsibility for dealing with him. Possible.
A shadow of Brand that could make Trump? Hmm…well, the Trumps almost finished drying now. We’ll go to Ezekiel and see if he wants to rummage through Brand’s things with us. See if anyones broken into his room and maybe stolen some left behind Trumps. Then, into shadow to test the time theory.
This is all something to do at least, usually Amber is so dull. Perhaps Wren will go with us…the more beautiful women on a journey through shadow the better.